For the past few months it has been pretty quiet here on About Happy Books. There was a time when I was constantly working on new posts, when I felt the need to share everything bookish with the world. This period lasted for some years and I was sure that it would go on like this forever. But then something strange and scary happened, I started to read less and less, I started to feel less excited about books in general and I started to wonder why this was happening.
A few weeks ago I finally realized what was going on and what was making me feel less passionate about reading. My blog is the reason I feel less excited about books. Seeing myself as a reviewer and constantly feeling the need to share my thoughts on books was making me want to read less. I thought that reviewing books, being an active part of the book blogging, would make me more excited about books, and for some time it did. But this time is over, I realized that I'm not a reviewer, I'm a reader.
Without the pressure of having to blog/vlog about every book I bought or read, without the pressure of having to share all of my feelings about books, I once again feel excited about books, I once again look forward to starting a new story and to get lost in it.
Does this mean that About Happy books will disappear? No, I want to continue with my blog, however I'm not sure how the content will look like. Right now I'm thinking about using my blog as a sort of diary for my reading activities. I want to continue to write about the good books I read, I want to share other bookish things, but not as a reviewer, from now on I'm solely a reader. This decision makes me feel as if I'm free again to read what, how and whenever I want to.
In the last two years I put too much pressure on myself, took reading too seriously and thought that I had to constantly create new content. I expected too much of me and forgot that blogging about books was once one of my favourite hobbies. I want to go back to feeling as if About Happy Books is a place where only good things happen, where there is no stress and only good times. I want to go back to being a reader who doesn't really care about writing style, world building and so on, I want to go back to enjoying a book without constantly thinking about what I might write in the review.
From this moment on I'm back to being a reader, nothing less and nothing more. I no longer see myself as a book reviewer and it feels damn good. I'm not exactly sure when my next blog post will be up and how it will look, I still need some more time to come to terms with the changes, I need to think some more about the direction this blog will take in the future. But I will be back and hopefully this blog will once again fuel my passion for books and not the other way around.