For the past few months it has been pretty quiet here on About Happy Books. There was a time when I was constantly working on new posts, when I felt the need to share everything bookish with the world. This period lasted for some years and I was sure that it would go on like this forever. But then something strange and scary happened, I started to read less and less, I started to feel less excited about books in general and I started to wonder why this was happening.
A few weeks ago I finally realized what was going on and what was making me feel less passionate about reading. My blog and bookish Youtube channel are the reason I feel less excited about books. Seeing myself as a reviewer and constantly feeling the need to share my thoughts on books was making me want to read less. I thought that reviewing books, being an active part of the book blogging and booktube community, would make me more excited about books, and for some time it did. But this time is over, I realized that I'm not a reviewer, I'm a reader.
Without the pressure of having to blog/vlog about every book I bought or read, without the pressure of having to share all of my feelings about books, I once again feel excited about books, I once again look forward to starting a new story and to get lost in it.
Does this mean that About Happy books will disappear? No, I want to continue with my blog, however I'm not sure how the content will look like. Right now I'm thinking about using my blog as a sort of diary for my reading activities. I want to continue to write about the good books I read, I want to share other bookish things, but not as a reviewer, from now on I'm solely a reader. This decision makes me feel as if I'm free again to read what, how and whenever I want to.
In the last two years I put too much pressure on myself, took reading too seriously and thought that I had to constantly create new content. I expected too much of me and forgot that blogging about books was once one of my favourite hobbies. I want to go back to feeling as if About Happy Books is a place where only good things happen, where there is no stress and only good times. I want to go back to being a reader who doesn't really care about writing style, world building and so on, I want to go back to enjoying a book without constantly thinking about what I might write in the review.
From this moment on I'm back to being a reader, nothing less and nothing more. I no longer see myself as a book reviewer and it feels damn good. I'm not exactly sure when my next blog post will be up and how it will look, I still need some more time to come to terms with the changes, I need to think some more about the direction this blog will take in the future. But I will be back and hopefully this blog will once again fuel my passion for books and not the other way around.